Within the last half hour, you have probably had a conversation with yourself. Unfortunately, statistics show that this conversation has probably been negative, self critical, self limiting, blaming yourself for past or future failures, or any number of self destructive inner dialogues.
Our minds race along having inner dialogues constantly, without control and without direction.
But you can use this natural tendency to really improve your motivation, give your day a powerful lift before you even go out the door, or counter any negative emotion that threatens to cause you pain or impose false limitations upon yourself.
In other words, you can learn to use Self Talk that will make you unbeatable. Unbeatable from any outside force or even from your own inner doubts and fears.
Here’s how it works, choose a setting in which you won’t be embarrassed. In the shower, in the car as you drive to work, while standing in front of the mirror.
Now carry on both sides of a conversation about what is bugging you, or about any upcoming challenge.
I’ve got to get this big presentation ready by next Monday, but I keep putting it off. What can I do to get myself moving on this project?
Come on, you know you have all the material to put it together, you are just letting yourself be overwhelmed by the size of the job, aren’t you?
That’s true, right now I have all this information scattered in five notebooks and it is an unorganized mess. I don’t know where to begin.
That isn’t true. You can begin someplace right now, even it if it is just getting all five notebooks together in one place. Why don’t you put them on the table in the conference room?
Okay, I can do that. But I still feel overwhelmed.
Why don’t you make a list of everything you can think of that could be included in the presentation. Sure this list will be too long, but you can edit it down once you see it all in front of you.
Okay, I can do that. In fact I’m already starting to feel a little better.
Great. Now what else can you do right now to help you get this project done?
Self talk goes back and forth, letting you address your fears, doubts and negative self-imposed limitations. I particularly love doing them in front of a mirror because I can see myself growing more confident and less stressed when I can view my own reflection.
Be sure to ask yourself positive questions that seek solutions like, “What can I do right now to help?”, or “How can I solve this problem?”. Solution seeking questions help you avoid blaming questions like, “Why didn’t I?”, which serve you no good to help you through your situation.
At first you will feel a little strange carrying on a conversation with yourself, but you will quickly find that the answers to most of your problems are already within yourself. Often times you only need to sort out your emotions from the facts before you can start moving forward again.
Challenging Negative Self-Talk